Monday, November 21, 2011

Sins of the heart

This is a MH fanfic inspired by two of my OC's.




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I never meant to hurt you, I wanted to shout across the court yard as Ingrid gracefully made her way through. "I love you Ingrid" I whisper to myself. "I love you". I clench the barbwire fence as I think about how my presence disgusts her. It is best I remain in the shadows, the last thing I want to do is upset her, or worse, have her run off again.

I've been working as the Graveyard keeper at Monster HIgh for almost 10years now, before my soul reason for existing was to find Ingrid, my wife. We were married on a cool October day in 1841, she was 16, and I was 48, time had not been good to me, but I always considered myself a reasonable man. I loved her from the day I saw her, she was 15 then, and her parents were looking for a baron to get them out of their debt. They were about to loose everything. I was the youngest on the prospect list so they took to me quickly. After the first courting I knew it was not going to be easy to gain her affection, but I did not think It would be impossible. I thought I could get her to trust me, to understand that I didn't want to hurt her, but her rancid remarks and profound disapproval was driving me mad. She never gave me an opportunity to show her the love I really had in my heart. I didn't want to take her by force, but if it wasn't me, it would be someone else and that thought I could not stand. I made the mistake of kissing her against her will one day and that drove her over the edge. She tried to kill herself, I didn't know what to think and my conscience had me feeling like a sinner. I was disgusted with myself, she aroused a distastefully feeling in my gut that I thought about cancelling our arrangements. However my dirty, selfish desires surpassed and it happened, but I could barley stand the wedding. She wailed and sobbed, begged and pleaded, for her freedom.... for death. I held back tears and locked down that ball in my throat that wanted to escape and express my sorrow. This is not what I wanted. I just want the opportunity to tell her that I love her without tears running down her face, without fearing what I might do to her, I want to hug her and hold her tight, smell her hair, parade her around in my arm, and make her smile. ... I just want to make her smile.

We were only married a few hours, as her death came shortly after. She was turned to the world of the walking dead, wining a ticket out of her misery, out of my life. My heart would of been broken if there was any left to break. But I cried that night, like a child, uncontrollably. My soul was hurting and I had no one to turn to, no one to comfort me. I signed all my property to Ingrids family and went on a self finding trip which landed me in England. I was a happier man there, working with a Carriage company as a chauffeur. I lived there for 2 years until I passed into the world of the dead myself, accidently turned into a night walker by a young vampire who had a conscience about killing me. The juvenile vampire took me to his maker who showed me how to be this undead beast. It wasn't long before I caught on and ventured out on my own, feeling young and refreshed. Feeling adolescent. It was then that the thought struck me to find Ingrid. With my heightened scense and the memory of her smell engraved in my heart it wasn't long before I found her.

I don't know why I expected anything to be different, maybe because she did have a few years to mature, and time no longer applied to us, I thought just maybe... but I was wrong. The second she saw me, blood tears stained her face and before I could get a word out she attacked me and just like that she was gone.
Its been well over 100yrs now, this whole time I've been longing to find her, hanging on to that bit of hope that one day I'll see her and her reaction will be different. That is my reason for existing, though my fear of her rejecting me again has kept me from looking for her.

BUT, Maybe the demons have finally decided to be good to me this year, since last month I noticed Ingrid began to attend Monster High. I've seen her hanging around the campus almost everyday and for that I am thankful.
I've been thinking of ways to approach her, but they all end with a beating. Maybe I should just let her kill me, maybe that's as romantic as I can be for her.



------------To be continued?----------------

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